Ranking the Top 10 Best Demons

1. Hellboy
From: Hellboy (comics)

Hellboy

Hellboy: Cut to the end, will ya? How do I kill it?

2. Crowley
From: Supernatural (TV show)

crowley from Supernatural
The often self-styled King of Hell, Crowley (Mark Sheppard)

Crowley: Why can’t you people just sit on clouds and play harps, like you’re supposed to?

3. Abaddon
From: Supernatural (TV show)

abaddon

Abaddon: โ€œWhatโ€™s the matter โ€” hellhound got your tongue?โ€

4. D’Hoffryn
From: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV show)

demon buffy the vampire slayer

D’Hoffryn: Behold D’Hoffryn, Lord of Arashmaha, he that turns the air to blood and reigns te – Miss Rosenberg. How lovely to see you again. Have you done something with your hair?

5. Mephistopheles (film version, 1926)
From: Faust (Film)
Director: F.W. Murnau

Well, technically his dialogue was in German in the original Murnau-directed version, but I always had a thing for Christopher Marlowe’s Doctor Faustus. Much more quotable ๐Ÿ˜‰

mephistopheles

Mephistopheles: Solamen miseris socios habuisse doloris.
(It is a comfort to the wretched to have companions in misery)โ€

6. Spawn (HBO series version)
From: Spawn (Marvel Comics)

Spawn comics

Spawn: As far as I know, I’m already dead. Which means, I’ll be waiting for your ass in the afterlife.

7. Mazikeen
From: Sandman graphic novels, Lucifer graphic novels (DC Vertigo)

mazikeen cover image dc vertigo comics

Mazikeen: You bag of wings and wishbones. I told you I came under truce, and you drew on me.

8. Azazeal
From: Hex (TV show)

Azazeal hex tv series

Azazeal: Have I ever hurt you?

9. Dante
From: Devil May Cry (video game)

Yes, yes, I know, Dante is only half-demon, but he has all kinds of demonic powers and mojo, not to mention an assortment of demonic weapons, doesn’t he? ๐Ÿ˜‰

Dante devil may cry

Dante: Almost…I only take special jobs, if…you know what I mean.

10. Lucifer Morningstar
From: DC/Vertigo(comics)

Okay, okay so it has been brought up many times that Lucifer is actually an angel even though he’s a fallen angel, but I still consider him to be affiliated enough with demons and with Hell that it makes sense to include him on this list, so there ๐Ÿ˜‰

The DC Comics/Vertigo interpretation of Lucifer is still the best I’ve seen, even better than the one on Supernatural, but Viggo Mortensen’s Lucifer from The Prophecy gives the Vertigo one a run for his money for sure (not to mention the Devil from The Passion of the Christ, which I still refuse to watch.)

lucifer morningstar dc comics

Lucifer: That’s an eighty year-old Janneau Armagnac. If I’d known you were going to waste it on melodrama, I would have given you the ’78.

See some of your favourite demons on this list? Are there others that you consider to be personal favourites? What do you think? Sound off below!

My Top 5 Holiday Films to Get in the Christmas Spirit

Christmas Movie Panorama

It’s that time of year again, and everyone seems to have their particular holiday favourites to get them in the festive spirit. I’ve put together a list of the top 5 films I re-watch every holiday season as the ones I look most forward to and some of the things I like about them.

Nightmare Before Christmas
Why I love this film: Tim Burton, creepy but charming skeleton, creepy but charming corpse, creepy but charming love story, a fusion of Halloween and Christmas, a compelling story, and good-old fashioned creepy fun. What’s not to love?

Home Alone 1
Why I love this film: Remember when Macaulay Culkin as Kevin was America’s darling? A cute but sassy kid whose mission it was to defend the house from Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern? Gosh, I miss those days ๐Ÿ˜‰ Although I also love Home Alone 2 because it’s like a kid in a candy store with Kevin’s misadventures continuing in the Big Apple, Home Alone 1 is like a comforting teddy bear.

Sure the “tender” family moments are over the top and schmaltzy but it’s good fun to watch Kevin’s hilarious journey from scared little kid to defender of his family’s house. Plus, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” and Three Stooges-style slapstick humour. Gotta love it.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Why I love this film: This is like another comforting childhood teddy bear or blanket. Every time I watch the scene where the Grinch’s heart grows three sizes too big, I get a little misty-eyed because it’s a reminder not to be a Grinch as an adult ๐Ÿ˜‰ Whether it’s Boris Karloff’s impeccable voice work (remember, he played Frankenstein) or the Grinch’s hilarious over-the-top devious smile, this short film puts me in the Christmas spirit every time I watch it.

Love, Actually
Why I love this film: Aside from the fact that this film has pretty much all of my favourite British people of all time (although it doesn’t have Stephen Fry or Hugh Laurie, or any of the other Brits I’ve come to admire over the years), it has healthy doses of humour, drama, heartfelt moments, a wonderful soundtrack, and is another feel-good movie that gets me every time. Plus, Hugh Grant dancing around the Prime Minister’s quarters like a buffoon. Classic ๐Ÿ˜‰

It’s A Wonderful Life
Why I love this film: There’s a reason Frank Capra’s classic is a perennial staple and remains a favourite for so many folks. It’s a look back, a reminder at simpler times when life seemed simpler, people simpler, but at its heart we can all relate to so many moments.

I should also point out that thanks to this film I can’t take Jimmy Stewart seriously in any of the dramatic roles he plays because he just sends me into fits of laughter, but that’s a different story ๐Ÿ˜‰

But I think one of the reasons people return to this film every holiday season aside from the “tradition” aspect is because in this world we live in, we need reminders that humanity isn’t all bad. Despite the hordes of bad news we see and consume every day, we need to know that there is still fundamentally good in humanity.

Those are my top picks that I make it a point not to miss. What about you? What are some of your favourites? Your can’t misses and the staples around your household? Sound off below!

Tribute to Rocky Wood

As most folks in the horror community have already heard by now, HWA president and author Rocky Wood passed away earlier today from complications of ALS.

rocky wood hwa president

ALS or Lou Gehrig’s disease is not known for having a high survival rate beyond a certain number of years after the diagnosis, so when word spread that Rocky had been diagnosed, we knew that one day we would have to face the reality that he would be taken from us unexpectedly and shockingly. Just because we knew the day was coming, that did nothing to prepare us for its arrival.

In spite of his numerous daily challenges, Rocky put up a hell of a fight against ALS, and although he sadly succumbed to its complications, the way that he conducted himself was a testament to the enduring power of the human spirit. Not a single person would have blamed him if he chose to lead a quieter life.

But he soldiered on day after day and under his HWA administration he made some of the biggest, most positive changes that the HWA had seen in years. The HWA and the horror genre in general have always had a bad rap. Let’s just say you don’t have to do dig too deep to find online posts from embittered and disenfranchised horror authors bashing the HWA.

He did more to change perceptions about the horror genre and horror authors than anyone I know, and it was both an honour and a privilege to work with Rocky and to say hello to him at past World Horror conventions.

Under his leadership, the HWA instituted several programs including a scholarship, YA and library promotions, an annual Halloween Haunts series of blog posts from HWA authors, and many more efforts that brought in many more members to the organization.

I can’t count the number of intelligent, well-argued interviews he gave that highlighted the ghettoization of the horror genre and what the HWA was doing to change that.

I worked alongside Rocky and HWA vice-president Lisa Morton as the HWA’s social media coordinator, which included two World Horror conventions spreading the word and generating interest before the events.

Note: I am not saying the following to brag, boast, or otherwise promote myself, but rather to highlight how gracious and generous Rocky was: I was honoured when Rocky let me know my work impressed him. He was such an absolute pleasure and joy to work with, and his strong work ethic never wavered even in the face of his challenges.

In New Orleans at the 2013 World Horror Convention, I was on a panel moderating a discussion on social media promotions for authors. Rocky attended this, and although that made me a touch nervous, it also filled me with a sense of honour that he chose to be present–not because it was an ego boost. That’s not what it was about at all.

It filled me with honour because he was so generous with his support. He didn’t have to be there. He could have gone to any of the other panels and activities going on at that time. He could have used that time to rest in his hotel room. He could have been anywhere else for that panel’s time slot, but it meant the world to me that he was there. I can only hope that he enjoyed the panel.

For what it’s worth I cannot begin to imagine how difficult his circumstances were day in and day out. One of the best ways you can help Rocky’s family is by buying his books. He was one of the most foremost, if not the foremost experts on Stephen King in the world.

You can buy his books on Amazon or from his website.

To say that Rocky Wood will be sorely missed doesn’t do justice to the great man that he was. Anyone involved in the horror genre owes him a great debt of gratitude, and those to come in the horror genre will owe him the same debt. His work and all its effects will continue to be felt for years to come in the horror community.

Feature: When Dialogue Goes Bad #1

Welcome to a new feature on this blog, When Dialogue Goes Bad, in which I will pick one film or book that features exceptionally bad or cringe-worthy dialogue to highlight what bad dialogue looks like.

The film I chose to kick things off is a part a series so far that has four instalments, and that would be Underworld. When the first film came out in theatres, I thought it was the beeโ€™s knees. But years later it has turned out to be a case of me re-watching and finally understanding why itโ€™s not quite as good as I thought it was by my teenage standards.

Anyway, I digress. There are so many instances of bad dialogue in all four films so the challenge wasnโ€™t so much finding them as it was narrowing down the ones that were truly terrible ๐Ÿ˜‰ Theyโ€™re separated by the character who says the line. Enjoy!

Viktor

viktor underworld
Viktor (Bill Nighy)

Viktor: I wanted to believe your lies, but I knew it could not be true, not my own daughter. How could you!?

Viktor: Bah! YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME! To be with an animal! (delivered in the hammiest, most over-the-top way possible)

Viktor: That he yet breathes shows the depths of my magnanimity.
(In other words, a great opportunity for the screenwriters to use unnecessary big words)

Selene

selene-underworld
Selene (Kate Beckinsale)

Selene: And soon, I will become the hunted.

Selene: I am a Death Dealer, sworn to destroy those known as the Lycans.

(I’m sorry, all I heard was this:)

The_Name_Of_The_Moon_colorfix_5744
(c) http://tvtropes.org

Lucian

Lucian werewolf lycan
Lucian (Michael Sheen)

Lucian: You’re acting like a pack of rabid dogs.

Lucian: His own daughter. Burnt alive for loving me.
(Again, imagine these lines being delivered in as melodramatic a way as possible)

Lucian: (to the vampire elders) I’LL KILL YOU! ALL OF YOU!

(Iโ€™m sorry, this is all I can picture right now)

Movie_Wicked_Witch
Wicked Witch from The Wizard of Oz (1939)

Lucian: I will not bite… much.
(*rolls eyes* Seriously? This could have been taken from a Mel Brooks movie)

Marcus

Marcus from Underworld Evolution
Marcus (Tony Curran)

Marcus: My God! Brother, what have you done?

Marcus: Viktor, he must not be harmed.

Marcus: STOP THIS, YOU’RE KILLING HIM!

Marcus: Dead or alive, you will give me what I want!
(Another master of hamming it up, Marcus gives Viktor a serious run for his money when it comes to most over-the-top dialogue)

Honourable Mentions

Andreas Tanis: Gotcha!
(This is an actual line. I’m not joking. A villain actually utters this non-ironically to the protagonist)

Alexander Corvinus: Find the Girl. Bring her to me.
(Again, not joking. This is an actual line)

This concludes the first edition of When Dialogue Goes Bad. Can you think of any other cringe-worthy moments from the Underworld films? Any other films you can think of that have some of the worst dialogue youโ€™ve heard? Sound off below!